Archive for October, 2003

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Wednesday, October 29th, 2003

Legal Shenanigans

Some dirty asshat named Ronald Puskin* is threatening to reveal Atrios’s Secret Identity or worse, sue him. Now, as we all know from Superman Comic Books, a superhero’s true identity is a sacred thing and you’d have to be a real twisted bastard to try and out him for cheep politcal gains. Something on the order of Lex Luthor or Karl Rove (but then, I’m just repeating myself).

It seems Atrios implied that Mr. Puskin is a stalker. Thing is. Mr. Puskin actually calls himself a stalker. To make matters all the more surreal, the threat of litigation isn’t actually over anything Atrios said but rather something someone in the comments section said that might be interpreted as Libel. If you wouldn’t know satire if it started fellating your big toe. Or if you were, say a despicable, overly litigious hack who very likely molests goats and possibly children as well.

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*I changed his name so that Donald Luskin wouldn’t sue me for libel.

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Tuesday, October 28th, 2003

The Return of Saint Will

Over at the Humanist Way, Edward L. Ericson illuminates some basic ideaolgy:

Many who belong to no church or sect–along with many who do–when asked to identify their creed, will reply simply: ” My religion is the golden rule.” Or they will answer: “Formal church doctrines and theologies are not important to me. The way in which I relate to others and to myself is all that finally matters.” Without perhaps having a label for their faith, such people–to the degree that they live by these convictions–are practicing the essence of the Humanist religion.

*snip*

Ethical Humanists contend that the dignity and moral worth of human personality should always be respected as the supreme end in view, the summum bonum, the supreme good to be observed. This affirmation of human worth is the starting point of Humanist religion.

In theory, I can get behind this sort of religion. If it weren�t for my deep-rooted bias against organized religion in general, I mean.

I recognize that some people have a need to believe in something bigger than themselves, in order to go on living. I once heard a woman say that if it were proven to her that there is no God, she would probably just step in front of a bus. To this I say, �Here, let me give you hand into the road.�

If you have to believe in some fairy tail in order to get out of bed in the morning, you�re doing something wrong. Maybe you need to switch professions, take up a hobby or find a man/women or sex toy of your preference. I for one stand in awe of the simple physical world in all its beauty and tragedy, intricate nuances and mystery every single day. But that�s just me. I don�t need mysticism and magic pixie dust to feel good about myself, being alive, breathing cool Autumn air or finding something grand and wonderful about the Human Drama. So perhaps I�m just the sort of person who might feel at home in the ranks of the Humanist Religion. Perhaps it might change my mind about the evils of group think, to be part of a larger whole, something positive in nature and directed towards increasing the well being of the world. If it weren’t for the fact that every religion that has ever been has had this as their basic mantra, I might want to join up. But I’ve seen how even small groups can descend into fanaticism and dogmatic infighting, all in th ename of fancy ideas.

Now, it isn’t that the ideas themselves are bad. I like ideas and have a lot fo them myself. But once you start developing theminto some code or creed, that’s when things go wrong. It’s a lot easier to change an idea than it is to change a belief (to paraphrase Rufus, from Dogma).

But I�m skeptical of all rhetoric, no mater how benign or flowery. I�m sure the Humanists, like Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Voodoo practitioners, Santarians, Buddhists, Shintoists, Mormons, and Wiccans are all nice folk, who do the best they can in this crazy world. But I think they are good people in spite of their dogmas, not because of them.

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Monday, October 27th, 2003

Saint Will

Maria over at Crooked Timber shares with us an account of her visit to the Chapel of Humanity. It’s an intriguing idea, building a religion around Humanism and Positivist ideals concerning Human Achievment.

I’d like to find out more information concerning this religion but frankly I’m too tired right now. perhaps tomorrow…

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Sunday, October 26th, 2003

This explains why I always have those damn Ann Coulter adds in my Google banner.

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Saturday, October 25th, 2003

It Ain’t Pretty But It’s True

NOFX informs us of a simple truth, often overlooked by the mainstream press: He is The Idiot Son of an Asshole.

Via Atrios.

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Saturday, October 25th, 2003

You Might Want to See a Doctor About That

“Mentioned in whispers for decades; burned in Manchuria; worshipped in Peru; the only book to be listed on the Vatican’s Index Librorum Prohibitorum twice, for emphasis; available again at last, in this definitive edition. Welcome to the Lambshead Guide. Disease-mongers, shudder.” — Dr. China Miaville

Dr. Miaville is speaking, of course, about The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases, edited by Jeff VanderMeer and Mark Roberts.

Afraid you might have contracted “Motile Snarcoma,” “Extreme Exostosis,” or “Bone Leprosy”? You might want to go here and consult with a physician.

Or, if you�re up for a little self diagnosis, you can aquire the guide here.

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Saturday, October 25th, 2003

The Invisible Library

They�re auctioning off Jorge Luis Borges personal library. For anyone who�s a fan of the late great Argentine author and Librarian, this is a big deal. When I first read about it, I was torn between fear and desire. fear that they were breaking up what possibly is one of the greatest collections of unusual and rare books and desperately wanting, say a first edition of Labyrinths, in Spanish. Not that I can read Spanish but both my wife and I want to learn so our imaginary children can be raised bilingual. And really, what better way to learn Spanish than reading one of the masters?

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Friday, October 24th, 2003

Questionable Theology and Wonky Science? Count Me In!

If you aren’t reading the Slaktivist’s Critique of the Left Behind Series You really are missing out. He’s going way, way in depth, in a manner that can’t be sane or healthy but gosh darn, if he isn’t doing us a favor, reading these monstrosities so we don’t have to. And it’s not that he’s just critiquing them on a literary level. He also has a lot to say about the faulty theology of Jenkins and Lahaye. Apparently there’s also questionable science in the LB series. Who would have thought? I would have assumed that a couple of anti-evolution knuckleheads with a Biblical axe to grind would be extra scrupulous with their scientific research, in order to give their Apocalyptic melodrama that added sense of realism.

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Friday, October 24th, 2003

Plan B

According to legend, Tom Robbins, author of such wild tomes as Another Roadside Attraction and Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates, writes his books one sentence at a time. Well, don�t we all? Isn�t writing all about putting one word after another until you hit pay dirt? Well, yes. But he apparently makes use of no notes, no guides, nor does he even develop characters before hand.

Tom Robbins makes it up as he goes along, treating each sentence like a singular jewel, fashioning it until it�s perfect, to his specifications. Then he moves on to the next sentence. And he never goes back to revise. This could explain why it takes him, on average, five years to complete a novel. I for one have a hard time believing he doesn�t revise, considering how seamless his books fit together. This achievement is only all the more striking if true, when you look at how bizarre some of his books can be. They�re like transcendental plutonium, shooting rays of kryptonite green sunshine strait into your pineal gland.

I for one think he must have at least a vague idea of what he wants to write about before hand. After all, that�s the motivation for writing, that you have something specific you want to say even if it�s no more specific than just an innate desire to bark at the moon and scratch that existential itch.

I�ve been putting together notes for my next foray into the Art of the Novel. My Plan A concept was inspired by a passage in Hakim Bey�s TAZ:

�From among the experiments of the inter-War period I’ll concentrate instead on the madcap Republic of Fiume, which is much less well known, and was not meant to endure. Gabriele D’Annunzio, Decadent poet, artist, musician, aesthete, womanizer, pioneer daredevil aeronautist, black magician, genius and cad, emerged from World War I as a hero with a small army at his beck and command: the “Arditi.” At a loss for adventure, he decided to capture the city of Fiume from Yugoslavia and give it to Italy. After a necromantic ceremony with his mistress in a cemetery in Venice he set out to conquer Fiume, and succeeded without any trouble to speak of. But Italy turned down his generous offer; the Prime Minister called him a fool.

In a huff, D’Annunzio decided to declare independence and see how long he could get away with it. He and one of his anarchist friends wrote the Constitution, which declared music to be the central principle of the State. The Navy (made up of deserters and Milanese anarchist maritime unionists) named themselves the Uscochi, after the long- vanished pirates who once lived on local offshore islands and preyed on Venetian and Ottoman shipping. The modern Uscochi succeeded in some wild coups: several rich Italian merchant vessels suddenly gave the Republic a future: money in the coffers! Artists, bohemians, adventurers, anarchists (D’Annunzio corresponded with Malatesta), fugitives and Stateless refugees, homosexuals, military dandies (the uniform was black with pirate skull-&-crossbones–later stolen by the SS), and crank reformers of every stripe (including Buddhists, Theosophists and Vedantists) began to show up at Fiume in droves. The party never stopped. Every morning D’Annunzio read poetry and manifestos from his balcony; every evening a concert, then fireworks. This made up the entire activity of the government. Eighteen months later, when the wine and money had run out and the Italian fleet finally showed up and lobbed a few shells at the Municipal Palace, no one had the energy to resist.

I was going to write a wild anarchist mash note to freedom and rebellion! How fucking Bohemian of me. Now, Bey does mention after the above passage that later, D�Annunzio became a Fascist and fell in with Il Duce himself. He sort of apologizes for D�Annunzio by saying that he saw the light and for betraying the Fascist cause, Mussolini had him killed. This I could almost overlook in my fictionalized account, which would only be about the 18-month escapade in Fiume. But, like a good little Librarian, I decided to cross-reference my source.

Turns out dear Hakim left out the part where D�Annunzio kept control of the city of Fiume by poisoning his adversaries with castor oil or that the men and boys who didn�t join the Arditi were shot. So it seems my would-be-hero was less of an Anarchist and more of a Fascist then I thought. So plan B.

I�ve always wanted to write a short novel using the structure of an Edward Gorey Book. Now, what�s great about Gorey�s books is their freeform minimalism. Characters wonder in and out, sometimes miss the obvious, strange things happen or start to happen but the drama occurs off the page, in the margins. It�s mostly just about life�s unrelenting uncertainty, miasma, peril, mystery, ennui, indifference, trepidation, spoons, tumescence, broccoli, inscrutability, gyrations, entrities, idleness.

Basically, I have no plot but a couple of eccentric characters with unlikely names and a list of unrelated scenarios that lead to a vague and inconclusive end. And I�ve chosen a title at random from a list of evocative sounding headers. It will be called The Unturned Stone and should be fun to write and hopefully, to read.

Any ideas or suggestions are welcome, the stranger the better. Just drop them in the comments box.

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Tuesday, October 21st, 2003

The Greatest War that Never Was

I�m watching on the Sc-Fi Channel a show about Orson Well�s War of the World�s broadcast on Halloween eve, 1938. It�s fascinating what Wells accomplished with that broadcast. He saw the power of the radio, how it held a fascination over the majority of the population. We�ve become so media savy and jaded by the continuous flood of information and disinformation on the tube that it�s hard to conceive of how people could suspend their disbelief so thoroughly. But think about it. No one at the time had any reason to disbelieve what they heard on the radio. There was news and there was entertainment. Any idiot could tell the difference between the two because one was serious and the other lighthearted. Even the dramatic shows had artificiality to them, with the narration and sound effects. But what do you make of an entertainment program that apes the seriousness of a newscast? And if you missed the prologue that let you in on the joke, which most people did because they were listening to another, wildly popular show featuring Edger Bergen and Charlie Parker the puppet. Once they finished their first ten-minute bit, people switched channels (arguably the first recorded instance of channel surfing) and tuned into the mundane sounding music punctuated by genuine sounded newscasts. And never switched back to Edgar Bergen.

The rest of the story is the stuff of legend and arguably the greatest act of Performance Art, ever. What makes it so great is that for a brief moment in time, one man convinced millions to suspend their preconceived notions of reality.

The key was Wells� remarkable use of sound effects, using controlled dead air. Silence. Mundane and familiar music. Reporter updates that only heightened the drama. Then the fateful announcement:

Invasion! Mars!

A Roosevelt impersonator only added to the gravitas of the illusion.

Aiding Well�s audio verite was the real live threat, in the form of Hitler, which was on everyone�s mind. People took to the fields and roads of Grover Mills, looking for Martians, finding only shadows lurking behind trees and the ominous and deadly water tower looming over the treetops. Sure, the shooter who put holes in the tower swore the next morning he thought it was a Martian rocket ship.

We might laugh now at those Bumpkins out in Grover Mills, shooting up water towers and heading for the proverbial hills but just remember how many people have since been fooled by TV shows like Candid Camera and Punk�d, or the insane rhetoric, more ludicrous than any hokey science fiction program that issues from the mouth of some serious Politician, his lips turned up in a grave sneer.

We can be fooled. And more easily than you think.