The Invisible Library

The Evil That is Kitty Porn

Over at Corrente, The Farmer warns us about the evils of kitty porn, or as he rightly calls it, feline exploitation curiosa.

I’m telling you, heed this admonishment, do not allow yourself to be lured by the fervent milksopian glow of feline exploitation curiosa dependence. Once you’ve got that kitty on your back theres no telling how far you will go to satisfy any slavish maudlin craving. You’ll start out with one kitty cat, and the next thing you know you’ll need another kitty cat, and another and another and yet another. Nothing will satisfy your hunger and pretty soon you’ll have kitty cats dangling from the draperies and crawling out from under the French settee with carved mahogany swan heads and your head will fill with spectral yowlings and incorporeal ululations as if your home were bedeviled by a thousand ruttish ghouls haunting a heathered moor!

I must admit, I am a recovering addict.

Once I was just a lad who enjoyed the company of dogs, those trusty tride and true canine companions that have guarded us against the dreaded night and aided our hunting expeditions since time immemorable. But I strayed from the pack, as it were.

First it was a growing atatchment for my friends cats, then my wife and I aquired our own precious, Lucy. We hadn’t intended on becoming feline exploitation curiosa producers. That happened gradually, as Lucy grew from a mere puff of fur with giant ears to a sleek and agile creature, capable of knocking down even the heaviest glass vases. A regular feline newton, this one. If you catch her at it, I swear you could see her calculating tragecteries, so that the vase or glass of tea hits the floor just right.

But you see how easy it is to get swayed into this dastardly underworld? Fisrt it seems harmless. But before long you have framed pictures of your own Lucy, sitting pretty in a rocking chair hanging from the walls, sitting on the book shelves. It’s madness I tell you! madness!

I’m sick. Help me.

What’s the Frequency, Bernie?

Bernie Goldberg was just on the Daily Show promoting his new book, Arrogance: Rescuing America from the Media Elite which from what I gathered from his blathering, is about how Dan Rather lives in a Liberal bubble. Apparently Bernie thinks that Mr. Rather and the rest of the Big News Mannequins are insulated from the world and out of touch. While that may be true to an extent (what celebrity isn’t insulated from the harsh realities of an existential world?) it hardly seems accurate to say that some of the most respected journalists in the world are collectively twiddling their thumbs and ignoring the real issues. The only person living in an insulated bubble seems to be Bernie “Darn that Liberal Media!” Goldberg. He told John Stewart that he’s an Old Fashioned liberal, you know the kind who hasn’t changed his ideas or expanded his domain of knowledge in thirty years and thus has become as entrenched in his beliefs as any conservative.

Pardon my snark but I’m a bit underwhelmed by all the talk of the Liberal Media. We live in an effective one party Conservative Dictatorship with a compliant media that is willing to sit on stories about Bush that, had they been about Clinton would have been front page headlines and garnered round the clock coverage, accompanied by the most rabid of howls from the Uber Powerful declaring an end to civilization as we know it. Hell they did do all of the above when all Clinton did was get a blowjob from someone not his wife. Meanwhile Bush has lied us into an illegal war, trashed our economy, turned our foreign policy into apathetic excuse for looting sovereign nations and generally undermined our civil liberties.

So, to the FBI agent assigned to read my Blog, I say excuse me if I don’t take Bernie’s ramblings about a Liberal Bias in the media seriously.