The Invisible Library

Yahoo! News, Giant Mushroom Baffles Experts in Congo:

BRAZZAVILLE (Reuters) - A giant three-tiered mushroom which measures a meter (yard) across and was found in the tropical forests of the Republic of Congo has left experts in the capital Brazzaville scratching their heads.

‘It’s the first time we’ve ever seen a mushroom like this so it’s difficult for us to classify. But we are going to determine what it is scientifically,’ Pierre Botaba, head of Congo’s veterinary and zoology center, told reporters on Thursday.

For the love of God, man! Have you not read any Lovecraft?!? I’d offer stern warnings to these men, but I fear it is already too late. They have already meddled in things man was not meant to know, and probably already had their souls eaten by Yog Sathoth, too.

For the curious, however, Neil Gaiman offers a recipe for Giant Congo Mushroom Sauce.

Reason:

Clove cigarettes have long been a prop of self-styled bohemians, favored by neo-hippies, artists, drama students, and goths. By transforming the sweet, fragrant Indonesian smokes into contraband, the recently introduced Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act would make them even cooler.

The bill, sponsored by two bipartisan pairs, Mike DeWine (R-Ohio) and Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) in the Senate and Tom Davis (R-Va.) and Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) in the House would give the Food and Drug Administration broad authority to regulate tobacco products. But the authors clearly thought the matter of cigarette flavorings was too important to be left to the FDA’s discretion.

I have a confession to make. I’m one of those self-styled bohemians (of the goth variety). I smoke cloves, I dress in black, and I don’t believe in Jesus, either. But mostly, I smoke cloves. (OK, not mostly. I smoke maybe two cigarettes a week, usually when I go out drinking or dancing).

I can’t help it. I just have a genetic predisposition to undermine family values and America’s faith in whatever it is that’s being undermined this week. I can’t keep track. I really should get on that mailing list for the Bohemian Anti-Family Association (BAA); that would keep me up to date on what we’re undermining, on a daily basis. I hear they offer discounts on clcigarettes, too.