Strange Frequencies

My Uncle works for the NSA. In fact, two uncles and an aunt work there. well, this one uncle, let’s call him Joe, he’s been there for going on twenty years or more, His job is so secret, he can’t tell his own mother (or brother or nephew) what he does.

About a year ago, Uncle Joe and I were driving along and we got to talking, which is a rare thing because Uncle joe is a perennially quiet man. He told me that at the NSA, every year they have to sign a legal document the thickness of a novel that says, in plain english that they will not spy on American citizens, under penalty of law.

Looks Like it’s about time me and Uncle Joe had another talk, because something’s not right over there:

The National Security Agency has been secretly collecting the phone call records of tens of millions of Americans, using data provided by AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth, people with direct knowledge of the arrangement told USA TODAY.

The NSA program reaches into homes and businesses across the nation by amassing information about the calls of ordinary Americans — most of whom aren’t suspected of any crime. This program does not involve the NSA listening to or recording conversations. But the spy agency is using the data to analyze calling patterns in an effort to detect terrorist activity, sources said in separate interviews.

“It’s the largest database ever assembled in the world,” said one person, who, like the others who agreed to talk about the NSA’s activities, declined to be identified by name or affiliation. The agency’s goal is “to create a database of every call ever made” within the nation’s borders, this person added.

[…] Air Force Gen. Michael Hayden, nominated Monday by President Bush to become the director of the CIA, headed the NSA from March 1999 to April 2005. In that post, Hayden would have overseen the agency’s domestic call-tracking program. Hayden declined to comment about the program. [emphasis added]

Gee, can’t imagine why General Hayden didn’t want to stick his dick in that beehive.

Apparently, President Codpiece says that the database won’t be mined or used for fishing, so don’t you worry, valerie Plame, we won’t be outing whistleblowers, or making partisan attacks. Which of course we know is total Bullshit.

As someone who mines databases for a living, I can tell you straight up, The President of the United States is a motherfucking liar. The databases I fish are filled with publishing information on books, MARC records and archival materials. These databases actually have something important in them, info about who you talk to. What harm could come from President kill Again getting his paws on that?

1 thought on “Strange Frequencies”

  1. That sucker covers the Posse Comitatus Act, the Fourth Amendment, and several other laws. You have to go through a briefing when you enter the building and sign your life away.

    You don’t want to know about the pounds of paper work when there’s an accidental intercept.

    I was under NSA in the Air Force from 1966-74. I seem to remember a certain war-like character to that period, and a few civil disturbances in the US, but not even Henry Kissinger suggested anything like what these people are doing.

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