Paranoia Suits Him Anyway

Bill Donohue doesn’t like, well, much of anything, and now it’s driven him paranoid:

Catholic League President Bill Donohue presented a paranoid side of his personality to Fox News Monday morning, declaring that “militant, dogmatic” atheists are “out to get” Catholics and dismantle American society.

“I’m talking about the extremists within [liberal] ranks who have become very, very vocal,” Donohue said. “And over the last several decades what we’ve seen is an all-out assault. This kind of new atheism. This militant dogmatic fundamentalist atheism out there to get us.”

The latest pimple on Bill’s Donohue’s ass is a show by Penn & Teller, those noted teetotaler magicians. Scary I know. (Though to be fair, Penn is kinda tall). It seems P&T did an episode of their show, Bullshit on the Catholic Church and it’s rather, let’s call it checkered, past. So, now talking about stuff that actually happened is an assault on Catholicism and the wholesomeness of the Virgin. We atheists are nothing if not subtle. (I’m doing my part to get Catholics by marrying one!) Though notice that an “assault” by “extremist atheists” consist of publishing books, talking about history and refusing to shut up when blowhards like Bill Donohue tell us too. Unlike an assault by extremist true believers, which consists of suicide bombers, hijacked airplanes and a massive coordinated ground invasion and air strike. One gets you killed, the other involves listening to Penn Jillette or Richard Dawkins talk about something they are informed on and passionate about.

“This was the most Nazi-like assault,” Donohue said. “The most unrelenting half an hour of bashing I’ve ever seen.”

The Nazi comparison appears to be Donohue’s theme for his publicity battle with Penn & Teller, which he blames on CBS, as it owns Showtime, the network that airs Penn & Teller’s show.

“The Nazis couldn’t have done better,” Donohue said in a statement. “Having been in this job for over 16 years, I have never seen a more defamatory, obscene and vicious show on TV.”

Though it’s kind of ironic that Donohue referred to Penn & Teller as Nazis for talking smack about the Pope, a former Hitler Youth member. also, Hitler was Catholic. So, yeah, maybe Bill should choose a different boogy man to describe atheists, one that doesn’t come from his own closet.