Obama’s Got the “Oh Shit!” Vote All Locked Up

I just received a fund raising email form the Obama campaign with the subject line: Can we meet for dinner? My first thought was, “no, because all you serve are shit sandwiches.”

My second thought was, fund raising from the unemployed is not the smartest move. And yes, it’s not like whichever lackey is sending out these emails knows that I’ve been out of a job for 2 months. (If only there were some federal or state agency that knows I’m unemployed, possibly because they’ve been sending me checks, that they could have checked their list of names against?)

I voted for Obama in ’08, happily. Hope! Change! Yeah! Little did I know the GOP had his balls in a little jar on the Speaker of the House’s desk. And yeah, I will vote for Obama again in ’12, but this time I’ll do so drunk and holding my nose, motivated by an overwhelming fear of living in a country run by one of these crazy people who believe Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs like horses and a good alternative health care reform plan involves leaches and bleeding.

So if anyone from the Obama campaign ever reads this, you can tell your boss his vote is safe here in the Kisser household, but make sure to let him know it’s out of desperation, not inspiration. For that, Obama would need to grow a pair and do something more worthwhile than just give a stirring speech. Like make me a job.