Merkin Muffley for President

It seems GOP voters have grown tired of yet another sure-thing front-runner for the Republican Candidacy, and Newt Gingrich’s poll numbers are now in free fall. I could have told you this, without the polling data. Even ignoring his crypto-fascist platform, try saying “President Newt Gingrich” with a straight face. He sounds like a Terry Southern character.

Most of the GOP contenders have already ridden this roller coaster ride, but no one really expected Cain, Palin, Trump, Perry and the Bachmann to stay on top as serious contenders. They’re clearly just milking it for the publicity and shill for their more lucrative careers as pundits. I mean, actually being President is hard work. But they could make twice as much just sitting around talking shit about the president for the next four years on FoxNews. So it’s just savvy business to ride that whore train right now.

Newt, Paul and Huntsman are the the only Not-Romney candidates left and they aren’t treating the GOP primary like a game show, but each in turn will get their close up. Though it seems Ron Paul, everyone’s favorite anti-semetic pot smoking uncle, is up next and the GOP desperately want to keep him out of the limelight, since he shows them up as the racist brain dead nincompoops they really are. But then these re the idiots who talked themselves into thinking Newt was a good idea just last week. So round and round we’ll go until the only ones left on this tragic carousel of cretinism is Romney, the empty suit no one likes. At which point, the GOP will decide that since they don’t actually want to run the government anywhere but into the ground, they’ll toss Mitt out as election bait so he can be squashed by Obama and spend the next four years griping and sabotaging the governing process form the senate and house. I mean, why not? It seems to be working for them now.